As I start writing about this, I feel it’s time to STOP. As the joke amongst my friends used to be – Naveen’s eating so we can all speak…Ha-ha! Now when I am having the microphone or space to speak as much as I want, I am trying to hold on, create silence so that others can speak and I listen.
This morning I became self-aware more deeply about how careful I need to be while speaking not with others, but 1st with MYSELF as I seem to hear more of the self-doubt, negative and horrible things whose analysis after my super sharp mind hears, keeps galloping- leading to a mental paralysis. I have a deep relationship with fear, anxiety, bias, feeling vulnerable (without reason mostly), being ill at ease, over planning and over analysis leading to paralysis. This seems to be changing for good with time & maturity. Early in life, I learnt that you have to be the Master of your Mind- which most of us outwardly appear to be, yet internally are probably struggling with as our false ego takes over before we realize what’s happening. Now I am speaking & hearing more of All is well in my world rather than blaming / fearing others. I am responsible for my peace & happiness and have the power inside me for that. I know it since I have been through and (by god’s grace) managed to overcome quite a bit. Being successful at times scared me. When we are speaking to others mostly it’s a put-on face seeking attention / approval i.e. what needs to change. I have learnt to change the narrative internally by living with hope & expressing my gratitude to what comes my way as nothing comes without reason. Taking charge & confronting self-defeating thoughts works in scaring them away. For me simply smiling & listening is still something I keep working on to make myself better.
Speaking to our own selves needs to be carefully tended to as mind is like a child with great intelligence. What you feed it; it focuses on & what you say not to do the child normally does more of that repeatedly till it learns you are watching. I suggest some things that I have applied/found working for me.
– We are not in control of anything. Covid-19 is a clear example of how Nature is in Charge!
– Start your morning and end your day in a positive manner – I start and end daily with a small prayer of gratitude
– Believe & receive that it’s going to be a great day. You are in charge of yourself
– You will have all the power to deal with problems that come, as there is no escaping
– Put a full stop (.) when your negative mind / ego starts taking charge
– See the situation, people & environment objectively – assess it to your best, add verified data and then take a best-case decision keeping the worst case in mind.
My creation ATM for happiness works well. I have learnt to accept vs expect, take charge & be responsible vs blaming, make the most of what I have rather than not doing something, thinking I have nothing.
This blog is dedicated my mother late Sushila Khajanchi whom I would like to acknowledge on Mother’s Day. Her words are a guiding force in my life still now. Mummy always said – God is running you & others. You do what’s good for you & let them do what’s good for them, as anyway God is in charge.
Author: Naveen Khajanchi is an alumnus of INSEAD. He is CEO of NKH Foundation Pvt. Ltd. which is into Leadership Search, Executive Coaching & Training for leaders of Large Corporates.
Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are personal observations and have no semblance to any event or meant to hurt any individual or communities on their personal beliefs. The article contains references to publicly available material for which due credit goes to the originator.